By: Chaya Sora Jungreis-Gertzulin
In parshas Vayechi, Yaakov faces his end of life. “…It was said to Yosef, behold, your father is sick…” (Bereishis 48:1) The Midrash teaches that Yaakov prayed for illness. But who asks to be sick? Don’t we daven for a long, healthy life?
Prior to Yaakov, a person would live out their days, and death would come upon one suddenly. But Yaakov turned to HaShem with a request for illness. As if it is an alarm sounding off – it’s time to settle one’s affairs. To Yaakov, one’s affairs meant gathering the children together, giving each one a bracha, a personal life message, words of guidance that will help them on their life’s many journeys. Advice that only a loving father can transmit.
And so, Yaakov gathered twelve sons around his bedside. Before offering individual guidance, Yaakov taught a foundational lesson: “hey’asfu—come together”. First and foremost a message of unity. A parent wants nothing more than to see his children join together, to be there for each other.
As parents, we get upset when our little ones are squabbling amongst themselves. How much more upsetting it is when adult children are not getting along. Yaakov’s message of achdus, unity, is the key to our survival. It was only then that Yaakov proceeded to give each son his unique, custom-tailored message.
“Yaakov finished blessing his sons and put his feet upon his bed, ‘vayigva – and he expired’, and he was gathered onto his people.” (Bereishis 49:33) The use of the word “vayigva – and he expired”, instead of the more common vayamos – and he died, is unusual. Rashi cites the Talmud, “Yaakov avinu lo meis, Yaakov, our patriarch didn’t die.” Yaakov’s essence, his neshama, his legacy, lives on through us. His teachings, his words, his blessings live on. The brachos that Yaakov gave his children thousands of years ago, speak to us today. His brachos entered their hearts, and have the power to enter ours.
When Yaakov blessed Yehuda, he acknowledged the gift of royalty. “The scepter shall not depart from Yehuda.” (Bereishis 49:10) Yehuda was also blessed with prime pastureland, as it is said “…And his teeth were white with milk”, alluding to raising sheep and the abundance of milk.
There is yet a deeper life lesson to be learned from these words. The Talmud (Kesubos 111b) comments that one who displays the white of his teeth to a friend is more praiseworthy than one who offers milk to drink. Chazal understood that nourishment sustains the body, but emotional warmth sustains the soul. The healing power of a smile. While milk, nourishment, has its many benefits, a smile, exuding warmth and understanding, works wonders.
My mother a”h had the opportunity to speak at Oxford University. Following her lecture, she opened the floor to Q&A. A young woman stood up and asked: “Rebbetzin, you are always smiling. Tell me, does your smile start on your face and work its way inward, or does it start deep down inside, and travels its way out?”
A question most of us never even think about. My mother said that only in Oxford would she be asked a question like that. My mother explained that her life wasn’t always easy. A childhood cut short by the Holocaust. Immigrating to the United States, a new land, a new language, a new culture. Losing her father, and then her husband, at a relatively young age. Yet, she smiled through it. My mother placed a smile on her face, and it traveled from the outside in. It became part of her very being. Just by smiling, we can change our attitude.
I’m not suggesting that one live in La-La Land, denying reality and ignoring pain. Of course, there are times of difficulty, suffering and challenge, times when we feel like crying – and it’s okay. But, by just showing the white of our teeth, putting that smile on our face, it can have a healing effect, not just for ourselves, but by spreading to others as well.
My mother would often quote Rav Yisroel Salanter, founder of the mussar movement. He taught that a person’s face is reshus harabim, the public domain. When one starts his day and faces the world with a smile on his face, coupled with a cheerful disposition, he uplifts not only himself, but all those around him. On the other hand, one who has a sour, frown-filled face, with a moody disposition, is a downer to everyone he comes across. In essence, Rav Yisroel Salanter’s teachings emphasize that a smile is not merely a social nicety but a vital act of chesed, kindness that impacts the emotional and spiritual well-being of others.
My zeide, HaRav Avraham HaLevi Jungreis zt”l, understood this teaching very well. When the family was deported to Bergen-Belsen, he told my mother that she had an important job – to smile. He explained that when people will see a sweet, little girl smile, it will give them a dose of hope and happiness, even if it is just for a few fleeting moments.
What a powerful lesson from my zeide. Not only did he understand the importance of giving a young girl meaning and purpose during challenging times, but he put a smile on her face, as well as those around her.
This Shabbos, we conclude Sefer Bereishis. It ends with the death of Yosef. End of an era. The tzaddik, leader and mentor of Bnei Yisroel was no longer. A great loss. A loss we know led into the cruel years of slavery in Egypt. How can we rise and joyfully call out “Chazak… Chazak…” as we read a tragic, sad ending.
Here, too, lies a life message. At one time or another, each of us suffers through challenges, difficulty, even pain. The answer is chazak, to find strength. Chazak, the power of a smile, to show the whiteness of one’s teeth to a friend.
Chazak, let’s remember Rav Yisroel Salanter’s teaching – our face is in the public domain. And finally, “v’nizchazeik”, Zeide’s advice that each of us can make a difference in the world by just putting a smile on our face.
Shabbat Shalom!
Chaya Sora
Chaya Sora can reached at csgertzulin@gmail.com
This article was written L’zecher Nishmas / In Memory Of HaRav Meshulem ben HaRav Osher Anshil HaLevi, zt”l and Rebbetzin Esther bas HaRav Avraham HaLevi, zt’l
